This Elvis Costello line always intrigued me. Does he think that he at times feels "normal," or does he think he sometimes has feelings like a regular human being? Maybe it's a small distinction, and I am sure others much smarter than me have already made that determination.
For my purposes, I tend to lean toward the former, and it's been a good 5 years since I felt like a human being. Really.
Since readers are scant here, and I am OK with that, this feels like a personal diary. One that will be open to my kids if they choose when they want to read. I've spend a lot of time highlighting my loves and interests, along with some of my pain.
And now, anger.
"Lipstick Vogue," pulls off the feat of being taut and threatening to veer out of control at any second at the same time. And it especially hits the bullseye in that it calls out bullshit love, something that you believed for years was true. And then you find out it was never really there and you lose your trust in such conventions.
My aim has never been true.
What was once sadness about that is now discolored with anger. And I have realized that I don't think it is ever really going to go away.
"You want to throw me away, but I'm not broken."
Early Costello was angry, and I glommed onto that then. Proving that I never grew up emotionally, it still registers hard with me.
Just an acknowledgement -- back to regularly unscheduled programming soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment